Last week – CONGRATULATIONS TO US – we completed our Film History Research Projects.  This week we begin our Classification Essay Projects.  NO REST FOR THE WEARY.   To my students I say,  "Keep Pushing On."   I'm not so sure they are eager to begin another assignment soon after their research paper.   I hear it frequently: they just want to pass the class and move on.  Writing for many of them is often frustrating, tiring, and depressing.  It can be a DRAG.  But, I'm going to tell them about John Madden, the famous Oakland Raiders football coach, who once imparted an important nugget of advice that I took to heart. 

In college – this was before John became a famous coach and announcer – he was an anonymous offensive lineman.  The kind of player that went mostly unnoticed by most fans in the stands.  He was the the guy getting pushed, slapped, and hit on every play.  The position is bruising and complicated, but John would get up off his ass every down to play another.  It's because he liked it.  John said to be a good blocker in football you have to enjoy the pain of it.  Jaja.  I'm not sure how much I like to write either.  Often when nothing comes out, I feel like throwing up.  I have a suspicion my students may feel even worse. But, I can tell them now, as I get older, I like it, writing, more and more.  I'm not saying I'm any good at it, but when the pit in my stomach dissipates, I feel a greater energy to fill my computer screen with words and sentences.  Like another  famous philosopher Bobby McFerrin once said, "DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY." 

The Classification Essay will give my students the opportunity to write about  their passions and interests. Currently, I'm trying to model a classification essay about my Favorite Female Singers.  I created and labeled my categories based on a Stevie Nicks song: "Leather and Lace."  I'm adding "Love" to complete the required three groups for my essay.  My shelves here in Mexicali are loaded with of rock 'n' roll biographies and/or memoirs.  I feel good because I've read a lot about my female singers.  I'm sure Chrissie, Selena, and Patti (see above) have felt the same type of nausea in writing their songs as I experience in writing these posts.  Jaja. But, Come On.  They know what I know, and what Cyndi Lauper knows:  "That's all they really want…Is some fun."  It makes writing a lot easier. 

This idea came to me from watching a video about a Marilyn Monroe collector (see above).  I show it in class.  Everyone collects SOMETHING.  My students can arrange their "stuff" into groups or categories.  Music.  Make-Up.  Movies.  Friends. Shoes.  Tattoos.  They have their FAVORITE FOODS.  Favorite places to go on vacation.  They classify their personal and professional goals. If you ask them about it, they could tell you all about it.  They've given their collection a lot of thought.  They could explain the subtle differences between each item they classify.  If they have tattoos, they just might begin to show you them. I find once they start, they just can't stop themselves.  Jaja.   When I was their  age, I was all about Sports and Working Out – My closet is still full of Nike running shoes, and I don't run anymore.  I could write a classification essay about different types of  Baseball Pitchers, or my favorite College Basketball teams.  I would be able to explain the strengths, styles and weakness of each. I could write about my favorite Work-Outs – Places I Run ( or Ran…).   Or… I could write about my Favorite Female Singers.

Wait!  Here are some more ideas:

People:  husbands, wives, in-laws, teachers, students, friends, enemies, bosses, co-workers, doctors, nurses, patients, babies, ex-wives, ex-husbands, grandparents, teenagers, mothers, fathers, lawyers, secretaries, T.V. news announcers, hairstylists, book lovers, ice-cream eaters, umbrella users, disco dancers, market vendors, Beanie Baby collectors, etc.

Examples of creative types of people to classify:  cat owners, cashiers at Starbucks,  youth pastors,  gamers, trumpet players , BFFs, stepmoms (dads),  football quarterbacks, English teachers. 

Places:  vacation spots, campgrounds, tutoring centers, college campuses, airports, freeways, back yards, front porches, parks, gardens, vegetable plots, video game arcades, movie theaters, Chinese restaurants,  car washes, hiking trails, etc.

Habits:  lunch habits, morning routines, test-taking, jogging, T.V. watching, bus riding, letter writing, dishwashing, house cleaning, house painting, playing, changing diapers, taking a shower, etc.

Occasions:  weddings, funerals, birthday parties, Christmas celebrations, dinner parties, commencements, company meetings, family picnics, Mother’s Day celebrations, vacations, reunions, etc.

Examples of creative ideas to classify: dumping a boy/girlfriend, anxiety,   first dates,   cheating,   boredom,  vacations,   bad habits,  relationships,  movie endings.

Because "Leather" is the first word in Stevie's song title, it will become my first group for Female Rock Stars.  I plan to draw my readers into my essay with a discussion of rebellion.  The leather jacket often symbolizes a desire to go against the grain.  Marlon Brando was right there at the beginning of rock 'n' roll.  This is 1953, and he wore a World War I bomber jacket in the movie The Wild One.  This is the film where he played the leader of a delinquent motorcycle gang, the Black Rebels Motorcycle Club.  I can't remember if they allowed women into this club, but today, Chrissie, Selena, and Patti could  be every bit the leaders Marlon was in his day.   This film, by the way, was considered so dangerous in England, that it was banned for 14 years.  The Beatles must have seen in it Hamburg in 1962.  Or, they saw Elvis on the BBC in a leather jacket.  Regardless, once they started wearing leathers, everyone knew it was cool. 

I know.  I know.  My tastes in music will not match up with what my students listen to.  I have this funny feeling a lot of them will be writing about Hip Hop, for which I know NOTHING. I'm not sure how leather fits into today's fashion statements. In the places I teach, the climate is h-o-t.  I don't see a lot of my students coming to class in leather jackets. It's not too cool to sweat. But, that's OK.  I'm not asking for anyone to agree with me in  this assignment.  All I'm asking is for my students to have a little fun when they write.  What's wrong with that?