Emily Diaz
English 1A
Professor Lewenstein
November 20, 2018
Being aware of your personal situations and background can help you understand how it has sculpted you or how it can help you make a change. Genetically speaking, it can be a very life-changing consequence. Informing yourself about your surroundings can be hurtful, but in the end, you can only change what you know into something good, if you do the good by changing your future. To repeat, genetics do not determine who you will be or what you are; it’s up to us to break away from a never-ending cycle. Our mental health has a lot to do with what happens in our everyday life. Often, we choose to ignore the way we feel and avoid making changes, without realizing that those can be the main reasons to why we end up feeling “misunderstood”. Most coping can be done independently but it is also crucial to have a social interaction that will benefit you in the long run. By providing you with this information, I hope that we come to realize how our day to day surroundings can be crucial. Not only should we surround ourselves with positivity, but also, we should be aware of who we are. Who do we want to be? Not just career wise, but, in happiness.
When my boyfriend, Alejandro, came out of jail days later after our car accident, he started developing obvious symptoms of depression. Since he was unlicensed, was driving under the influence, and had no insurance, he was automatically in debt and an inmate. Who was he to know that he wouldn’t be stopped by the consequences of his drug abuse? Alejandro is the youngest of his other 3 siblings; and, although he is the youngest, he is the strongest. Every day he wakes up to feed the 40 animals that we own, water every plant in the house, and is constantly making sure his parents’ house is perfect- inside and outside. Even though he must take care of every other thing, he still manages to make sure I am okay. But, the best part of it all is his art. Whenever he draws, he gets lost in the work and its detail. He claims that most of his art is not done yet, but coming from a stick-figure artist, I’d say it’s more than done. Although he always gets talked down on, I push him to believe that he will be extraordinary.
Alejandro didn’t have to tell me he was depressed. Whenever he would tell me that he ‘fucked up everything’, ‘my parents are done with me’, or that he was ‘fucked’, I knew that he was not okay. Apart from being financially troubled, he suffered from chronic stomach pains that wouldn’t allow him to work up to his full potential. So, being tied down to a life at home, made it worse for his anxiety and coping skills. In addition, the pressure for getting better, and his parents putting him down, made him feel hopeless. Earlier this year, he had a nervous breakdown and attempted suicide, all while being high on drugs. He was institutionalized for a week and luckily, he came back more positive. Although he is more open-minded and positive towards his future, he still has trouble finding stability in his mind because of his parents’ unsupportive nature. I am thankful that he is here fighting for his future, and that he remains strong for his family and me. We both fight every day together by pushing each other to achieve success and supporting each other through every obstacle. I know that we both might still struggle with many more mental setbacks, but us fighting to free ourselves will never stop.
After Alejandro graduated, he was sent to Montana to work; then, once he was back, he was sent to Mexico to care for his sick grandmother. As a result, he was now 2 years behind in the process of building himself a future. Because Alejandro neglected his drug abuse and his lack of family support, he often made poor decisions. Evidently, such decisions have made him suffer extreme consequences, like: car accidents, getting sued, debt, emotional stress, and a suspended license. Alejandro owes his sister a car, owes a car to a stranger, compromised his father’s, brother-in-law, and my dad’s credit. All the pressure has caused him to develop acute anxiety and depression. Being an 18-year-old and having debt of 30,000 dollars and up can be very overwhelming, especially having to declare yourself bankrupt. Although he does not feel supported by his parents, I try to remind him that he is not alone. It’s important for us to know how to cope and try to move forward; also, we must know how to ask for help. Alejandro now must give up his gold-digging drug abuse and focus on steps that will help him move forward. Perhaps he will go to college to major in Art; however, he first must pay his debt before he can be at peace, at least that’s what he says. In fact, he is currently in Montana working and saving up money. One step at a time he will achieve freedom.
On the other hand, Alejandro has always enjoyed looking after his parent’s home, especially their garden. He’s become a very responsible person by working up to his daily routine and is always persevering in any activity or goal. He wakes up every day to feed our animals, water the plants, care for the house, and still makes sure I have everything. He tries to remind himself, “I’m going to be a better parent,” “I’m going to have my ranch and my own fields,” “I’m going to help my parents out.” Yet, he is still talked down on by his parents. Often, Alejandro can be too generous and be easily manipulated, especially by his parents. However, he has pushed and put himself through so much loss and gain that, I just won’t allow him to give up. I know this will all build him into a more conscious, responsible, and considerate human in the future. Until then, the sky is the limit.
How can our mental health be affected by our surroundings? To begin with, we often don’t consider our mental stability when we are going through certain circumstances that affects us emotionally, mentally or spiritually. Instead, we neglect our well-being and change nothing. Therefore, we should start taking care of ourselves and understand what it is that we really need. In fact, we are mostly vulnerable to mental disorders and substance abuse because of our genes and our environment. Although you’ve probably realized too late that you need help, you should not be alone. U.S. Surgeon General said that more than 40 percent of those that had a substance abuse disorder, also, had a mental health condition. In the hope that, parents start evaluating the way they raise their children; because, they could possibly turn out to face a lot of consequences when they’re adults. Overall, we should be aware that these problems are real, and some people really need help, it’s time for us to help each other be good. We need to realize who we are, who we want to be, and who we will be.
In the article “Can kids of addicted parents break the cycle?” Anthony Alvarado, Douglas Darby, and Nadine Machkovech, founders of Rise Together, share their stories of addiction and recovery to offer prevention and hope. Furthermore, it informs us more on how kids who come from families affected by mental health, substance abuse, or both, are prone to developing similar disorders through genetics and the environment in which they were raised. Chief deputy, Chad Billeb, leader of the Wisconsin Alliance for Drug Endangered Children, stresses that even if a child grew up in that environment, they aren’t necessarily destined to become drug addicts. After having had read the article, I agree that children can be very much affected by their surroundings, influences, and their parent’s behavior. I also agree that even though genetically and environmentally we can be prone to many mental and substance abuse disorders, we can break the cycle and find a better lifestyle. Authors, Nathan Phelps and Alison Dirr, stress that children with a family history of mental or substance abuse disorders, or both, can develop similar disorders through genetics and the environment in which they were raised. As a result, children living in an environment involving drug or alcohol abuse can have a long-lasting impact, including on their mental health. When children start developing dependency on alcohol or drugs, they tend to isolate themselves which can be very dangerous. Often, many children hide behind their family issues and start accommodating habits according to their day to day problems. In addition, it can be very hard to overcome financial problems when all family members are dependent on a money-grabbing addiction, especially when addiction is silent between the family. In fact, some children even try to convince themselves that if it runs in their family, it’s okay to become vulnerable to the problem. Chris Wardlow provides us an important detail that we should not forget, “We (also) know your genes aren’t your fate. The environment plays a huge role in whether or not these genetic vulnerabilities get triggered in a young person.” As Chad Billeb said, “… if you don’t break the cycle, if you don’t do something in order to show those kids that there is a different way, they’re oftentimes going to grow up… repeating the behaviors they see from their parents.” Parents need to evaluate themselves and realize that they can be the main factor that sculpts their children’s future.
Figure 1 – Breaking away from the cycles that hold you back from your real happiness, is the best thing to do. Start a mental health cycle.
As Alejandro and I enjoy our afternoons together for the time that he is here in California, we reflect on how the current events have affected us. On Friday night, he and his brother fought and didn’t stop until I threatened them to call the cops. Consequentially, Alejandro’s parents kicked out both from the house. Alejandro found himself having an emotional breakdown and left; in fact, he even thought of ending everything. However, I helped him come to realization that his home was still his home ,but he just had to stop doing drugs and do nothing but keep moving forward. Now, we are sitting in his front yard enjoying the nature and the moments we can spend together. As always, we’re contemplating how far we’ve come, and how much we have managed to accomplish with our strengths. As I’m asking him these questions, he mentions me being the one who has helped him the most with everything. “I’m surprised that I’m still live, after everything.”, he exclaims. He is thankful that after so many accidents, and chances lost, that he is still alive and has been given many opportunities to fix what he has done. “People- that I don’t even know- still try to support me and depend on me.” Alejandro left for Montana to work for his bills. After 4 months of his attempted suicide, he has pushed himself to stay positive throughout these past months. He had to work endless nights to be able to make enough money for his monthly bill balance. Living with his family these past months has been hard on his coping abilities.
The constant negativity often gets to his head and persuades him to think irrationally about his situations. After all, what can we expect to gain from a confusing environment? Alejandro stresses that having to recover from everything he “fucked up”, has been the hardest to deal with. He states, “I’m afraid that I don’t know what my future is going to be.” His biggest worry has been his financial debt. Not knowing what to do is often a situation in which Alejandro finds himself in, which makes him even more anxious and scared about his future. Having to pay all that money has been very traumatizing for his personal growth because he often feels the need to hide his money. Alejandro is frustrated that every week he ends up with only one-hundred dollars or less, all because of his bills.
Every time we come upon this conversation, Alejandro analyzes his situation constantly and deeply. He focuses mostly on the way he has gotten himself into such situations. Talking about it helps him identify his true feelings about his situation. I often remind Alejandro that we should enjoy the good things and learn from the bad things. Although it can be hard for him to remain positive, he fights to remind himself that there are good things.
“You taught me how to love,” Alejandro expresses. He talks to me about how I have come to help him love others as if we love ourselves. “I give my mom a kiss on the forehead now every time she would stop by at work to bring me food, and that’s because of what you’ve shown me to do.” Alejandro faces difficulty expressing his feelings around his parents; instead he would react irritated. I try to remind him that things will turn out great. Although he still gets in very depressive episodes, he manages to always get some insight from every experience.
“Now, I see things differently, and I have different aspects towards life,” Alejandro states. He tries to reassure himself that he is the one who is in control of his situation. “I no longer want to isolate myself.”, Alejandro expresses. Since his attempted suicide, Alejandro has developed a conscious understanding of what might’ve happened and fears being able to hurt himself again. Alejandro advices that we take care of our health and stay sober; and, to interact with others. He fights every day’s negativity one day at a time. He knows in his heart that he will be good.
Figure 2 – Seeking help should always be an option. Although we might feel as if we don’t deserve or need help it’s always worth a try to ask.
Seeking help and learning who you are could help you find mental stability. We are not alone, and treatment is available for whatever circumstance. Our mistakes should not matter as much as the best outcome you can get out of everything. Awareness can help anybody. Together, we can get through anything. Although, If I were a psychiatrist, I would probably be influenced by my analytic abilities and prejudicially judge somebody. Culture and ethnicity could enhance the probabilities of being genetically prone to mental illnesses. (Yuan, Qi, et al)10 Also, I would not feel the need to care for somebody I do not relate to or know. Understanding something we are not familiar with, can be difficult. Particularly, this kind of thinking is the one that often stops us from seeking help. We think nobody would help a grown person but, there is help. If it is about where you came from or your roots then, it shouldn’t be what determines who you could be. There are mental health facilities everywhere you look. In fact, some mental health clinics can be covered by health insurance. Limiting yourself from getting help should not be an option. Regardless of who you are, what is wrong with you, or why you are the way you are, you deserve a choice to change. The public can be very much involved in one’s reputation but, being mentally stable is something we should not be ashamed of. All in all, wanting to be better or feel better, is not something that is wrong or selfish. Being mentally stable should be as important as our physical health. We are all just trying to find something, to feel good, to be happy. Improving our mental health can help our physic; and, helping our physical health can help our mental health. Imagine what a wonderful world it would be if we made it happen.
Alejandro has adapted himself to a chapter in his life in which he will have to pay for consequences of his drug abuse. Struggling to find mental stability has been hard for Alejandro. He’s also managed to tolerate his stomach pains even if he doesn’t know what he is treating. Handling all responsibilities of fixing his parents’ home, caring for the animals, financial debts, himself, and Me, have been a great life lesson to Alejandro. In particular, he is finding comfortability in his situation and just focuses on trying any way to cope. Finding a solution and taking care of himself is not something Alejandro stops thinking about. The stigma towards finding mental stability is no longer a setback for Alejandro. After his attempted suicide situation, he realized that it is okay to get mental help. What others think about how we choose to help ourselves should not matter to us. Alejandro realized what he had to do for him to get back to a better financial situation, and what he could do to be happy. Most importantly, he was encouraged to believe in himself even more. Alejandro assures he will pay off all his debts, keep receiving mental health support, and eventually own his own ranch. Even if it takes him years to be good, he knows he will be good eventually. His situation impacted him the most because he wanted to believe he could keep living feeling good or numb, without a consequence. Now, Alejandro wants to focus on owning a home for us, the animals, and his art. Working to the best of his abilities and doing what brings him joy, has been the most fulfilling for him and will always be. Alejandro has always been the helping hand, the doer. Helping others and feeling his best is priority to Alejandro. Getting to know yourself, even in the most absurd circumstances, can be enlightening.
Works Cited
"Mental health: Why drug abuse is a 'ticking time bomb." (2017, Aug 14). The New Times. Retrieved from
https://search-proquest.com.ezproxy.collegeofthedesert.edu/docview/1930228869?accountid=42321
Phelps, N., & Dirr, A. (2017, Mar 19).
"Can kids of addicted parents break the cycle?" Wausau Daily Herald. Retrieved from https://search-proquest-com.ezproxy.collegeofthedesert.edu/docview/1878512477?accountid=42321
United states: This study could unlock the mysteries of teen brain development. (2017, Feb 07). Asia News Monitor. Retrieved from
https://search-proquest-com.ezproxy.collegeofthedesert.edu/docview/1865318290?accountid=42321
Goldstein, Rita Z., Ph., and Volkow, Nora D., M.D. Drug Addiction and It’s Underlying Neurobiological Basis: Neuroimaging Evidence for the involvement of the Frontal Cortex, 1 Oct 2002, Web. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.ajp.159.10.1642
Hafner, J. (2016, Nov 18). Surgeon general: 1 in 7 in USA will suffer addiction. The Desert Sun. Retrieved from https://search-proquest-com.ezproxy.collegeofthedesert.edu/docview/1841125812?accountid=42321
Kelman, B. (2014, Jan 14). Health matters conference tackles mental health and drug abuse. The Desert Sun. Retrieved from https://search-proquest-com.ezproxy.collegeofthedesert.edu/docview/1477434727?accountid=42321
Pelham, V., & Kelman, B. (2015, May 24). Mental health shortages reach crisis levels. The Desert Sun. Retrieved from https://search-proquest-com.ezproxy.collegeofthedesert.edu/docview/1682782434?accountid=42321
Rosenfeld, Sam. "The Juvenile Mental Health System Does Not Work." Mental Health, edited by Ann Quigley, Greenhaven Press, 2007. Current Controversies. Opposing Viewpoints in Context, http://link.galegroup.com.ezproxy.collegeofthedesert.edu/apps/doc/EJ3010054254/OVIC?u=desert&sid=OVIC&xid=95615647. Accessed 31 Oct. 2018. Originally published as "Cruel Convergence: The Era of Get-Tough Juvenile Justice Is Also the Era of Managed Care, and Children with Mental-Health Needs Are Caught in the Crossfire," The American Prospect, Sept. 2005.
Wang, Xia, et al. "How depression stigma affects attitude toward help seeking: the mediating effect of depression somatization." Social Behavior and Personality: An International Journal, vol. 43, no. 6, 2015, p. 945+. Opposing Viewpoints in Context,http://link.galegroup.com.ezproxy.collegeofthedesert.edu/apps/doc/A427008015/OVIC?u=desert&sid=OVIC&xid=28b7cb64. Accessed 6 Nov. 2018.
Yuan, Qi, et al. "Attitudes to mental illness among mental health professionals in Singapore and comparisons with the general population." PLoS ONE, vol. 12, no. 11, 2017, p. e0187593. Opposing Viewpoints in Context, http://link.galegroup.com.ezproxy.collegeofthedesert.edu/apps/doc/A514689437/OVIC?u=desert&sid=OVIC&xid=4b33539b.
Accessed 6 Nov. 2018.
Leave a Reply