Berenice Reyes

Professor Lewenstein

English 1A

30 April 2019

 

Survivor Advocate: A Life Dedicated to Support Victims of Sexual Assault

   Our friendship has got stronger by the struggles we have gone thought. I have known Brenda for six years and this past year she has developed a mindset that is very mature for her age. She was the outgoing social person with a lot of friends in high school and well known by joining cubs and doing sports. She was a “social bee” as they would say. That’s where we are different I don’t really like to be social.

    I like to keep my circle small for many personal reasons. She is the oldest of two brothers and comes from a Hispanic family. Attending college at the moment and eventually wants to transfer to continue her education path she has set for herself and so far she is half way there. Brenda is someone we can all look up to. She a role model to young girls and especially me.

   Our struggles are not the same: my friend Brenda has been a victim of bullying in school and social media. She doesn’t want to share that story due personal thoughts. Imagine seeing your friend having problems for being friendly; it's horrible. There a many people who take advantage of someone’s innocents and jealous of their happiness. Throughout those times have been hard she has overcome that and going on to bigger things. This world can be cruel and is getting worse by the years we should make a movement to help with is problem and manage this problem in a better effective way. Thanks to her she has helped assault victims and has given advice to help with anxiety. She is that support for that person feeling vulnerable and taken advantage. Support and attention of a sexual assault advocate can help empower victims and create safer, healthy communities.

    For the earliest times sexual assault existed most lead by men (In 336 B.C.) according to Greek historians, Woman were seen as weak and “Women are erased,” said Sharon Block, professor of history at University of California, Irvine in the article “When Sexual Assaults Made History” (history.com). In the article “She Came, She Saw, She Conquered: 8 Women Who Changed The World”  (Wong) quotes “Thought out the years the development of woman empowerment has changed back in 1890s when woman started taking a stand and seeing their worth and knowledge”. Even though woman have developed over the years they are at a bigger risk of assault than men. Statistics shows In the U.S., one in three women and one in six men experienced some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime. Now assault can happen to all ages and genders, there is more acknowledgement in this problem.

     Brenda is a victim that got out of that depression hole and now wants help with anyone who is feeling the way she felt. When anyone sees her they just see a young college student who is getting her education and set goal for her future but she a girl with a hard passed. After graduating high school she thought she was going to live the adult independent life but unfortunately she has struggled with depression since she was a middle scholar and but recently fell back in that depression after an incident happened to her not so long ago. She overcame lots of feelings she couldn’t control. She already had anxiety so all that has affected her much more. Brenda is the oldest sibling from two younger brothers and has always been a role model to them. Coming from a Hispanic family she has many morals and is a very respectful young lady. One normal day she was unexpectedly assaulted by a stranger and that changed her life and ways of seeing things forever. Now she has to receive professional by a sexual assault advocate and that’s when she knew she wanted to help others as well. She took a course for a couple weeks and got certified as a sexual assault advocate and now receives calls and goes to hospitals when someone has be victimized. It can be hard for her to see a young lady tell her story just because she personally went thought it and it wasn’t easy to overcome that, but she knows there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. She gives hope to those feeling hopeless at the moment and she gives advice and they can even contact her if in the future to give them a life update. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

        Can we become independent people without having fear to be out alone? We should feel safe in public and anywhere we are at without having the urge to look over our shoulders.   Self-defense classes and hot lines help us  feel a bit more secure.

But, assault can happen to anyone anywhere and more than half the time it’s not reported. Let’s speak out and better the system for those types of actions and drop the percentages of assault to almost nothing. We all understand that now a days it’s more dangerous but there should be a law where this crime shouldn’t be tolerated and make it much safer for everyone.Sexual assault advocates are Center’s mission is to provide crisis intervention, advocacy and counseling for all those affected by sexual violence and provide prevention programs through community outreach and education. Assault doesn't have barriers in age and gender and can happen any time of the day. It can even be at home or public place. There are many ways any one can be assaulted such as physical and verbal. There are many cases where it does not get reported due to fear and not knowing what can be done. I personally interviewed a sexual assault advocate and she told me “It is NOT always a stranger, it is ALWAYS A CRIME!” Brenda is there at the scene after the assault has taken place and the victim is reporting the crime, she gives advice and helps with the guilt effect that happens after. The victim can go thought depression, anxiety and insecurity but there is a hot line to help anyone that needs to be heard. It is very important to know where to get help and know what must take place if it ever happens to you and how to defend yourself.

       The article “College Students Stay Quiet About Crime" is bringing awareness of the problems going on in college campus that is not related to school what’s so ever. This article shines a light on that bad part of college, which is the sexual abuse that goes on and no one reposts it in fear of getting in trouble. This has been going on for a while but recently been talked about in 2003 and the reason may be happening would be because there’s more younger students and the sexual activity is high, but when it becomes aggressive and taken advantage students should report the crime but more than half of the cases are not reported due to fear. The effects to this assault is low self-esteem and fear. When student don’t report this act there is a bigger chance of it happening more often because the assailant isn’t getting charged for the crime and getting away with it. Report the problem and make college a safer place for students.

    Assault can happen anywhere even in the most “safest” places. About 4.2% of students have experienced stalking since entering college and 11.2% of all students experience rape or sexual assault through physical force, violence (found on Rann.org). In most campuses a security is present for safety of the students but not able to be everywhere at the same time. If Assault were to occur every school should have services where the victim can repost and receive help. About 1 in 6 college-aged female survivors received assistance from a victim services agency. Campus law enforcement officials have legal authority to make an arrest outside of the campus grounds. It is very important to repost crimes a soon as possible to make investigations much easier and quicker. Gladly the students of Collage of the Desert has a student services page were the students can report any assault online for easier submission anyone can find this on student services page under the health and safety category and select the “REPORT INCIDENT OF CONCERT” it will directly open un a page where it ask for reporters name and what was the incidents, if there was any witnesses, locations and more.  Help can still be found outside of school campus if wanted but the important thing is to repot.

   I met up with Brenda at her home in Mecca after a long day of work and school, she has just got home after a long day at school. She was a bit tired and still had homework to do but she still made time to talk. We both sat down in her dining room table to talk about how our day was then get in to the interview. She was comfortable in some pair of gym sweats and her hair up in a bun. "I'm normally always alone and doing things on my own and even though it’s in the day I'm still at risk of any assault" Brenda stated. She continued by saying that the valley used to be so much safer and is much suppressed that it has changed so much though out the years. That was not the only things that has been surprising to her, she also added that when she on an outreach (when she gets a call for the police reporting assault victim needed her help) the victim most of the time doesn't want to press charges most of the time, and this is mind blowing to due to the mind damage that person has caused to the victim.

    When Brenda went through person inconvenience herself she though she can never overcome that trauma but she has come much more, she has educated herself and took a couple of classed and became a sexual assault advocate a couple months later. “The most difficult aspect of the job would be to remain calm and not let my emotions get the best of me because I know how it feels and know the struggles that come after." she catches her breath, drinks some water and continues " There can be consequences to the things I say and the words I used because at that moment I'm their back bone, the support they need and I give them advice to be able to overcome this inconvenience event in their life”. She became a bit emotional at this point so we stepped back and talked about something else for bit to get our minds a brake and that's when her loving crazy pug came running in and completely changed to mood for a good minute. Her dogs name is Oso (bear in English), she clearly loves that dog so much and I see a type of relief in her when he's around.

      She expresses that her first outreach will always mark be memorable  and be special to her and instantly connected with that person even though there was a big age gap but we click instantly and  can talk to her like she has known her for years. She looks around the room and tells me “you know what's crazy, how what I can say effects their state of mind and how I can control their emotions at that moment, therefore I want to make them feel as safe and help them avoid feeling alone”. Brenda knows that it's not the end of sexual assault and it even get worse by the years but she loves knocking she can help and is someone to come to for advice. Let's help others in what we once needed help on.

            Our struggles are not the same, my friend Brenda has been a victim of bullying in school and social media. Imagine seeing your friend having problems for being friendly, it's horrible. This world can be cruel and is getting worse by the years we should make a movement to help with is problem and manage this problem in a better effective way. Thanks to her she has helped assault victims and has given advice to help with anxiety. She is that support for that person feeling vulnerable and taken advantage. That support and attention of a sexual assault advocate can help tremendously when in a situation like that. The fight with victims and sexual assault keep rising and there is always a case happening throughout the world. It is very important for everyone to know where there is help and what to do if ever in that situation and is a perfect way to educate this would be to add it to the sexual ed class to make it safe like other things they educate kids in school. Brenda gives up her weekends so she can be prepared to receive a call in there is an assault and when she dose she's on her feel and on her way, this proses can take up to 3 hours. As a sexual assault advocate it’s not an easy job to do especially when Brenda has been a victim herself, so in a way she relives that moment but she has to put all that aside to help that variable person calling out for help. This problem will always be around but if there are more reports and offending getting charged with their crime then we can all feel a bit safer in our town and streets knowing one more offender is behind bars.