The following community profile is based on a true family story.  When Yaneth's  uncle moved to California from Mexico, he struggled for the acceptance of his family.  He was and is gay.  Although he was married to a woman, he felt incomplete.  He found love in the fields of Coachella to another man.  Her essay follows his journey.  Yaneth argues for equal marriage rights for everyone.

 

Yaneth Ortiz

English 1A

Jay Lewenstein

9 November, 2017    

 

You’ve Come A Long Way, Baby: Advancement of Gay Rights

Gay marriage has played an important role in my family because I have an uncle who was forced by my grandparents to marry a woman who he didn’t love. My grandpa told him if he didn't marry her, he would kill him.   Back in Mexico, homosexuality in Catholic families was prohibited . No one was allowed to marry same-sex.  After ten years of marriage my uncle and his wife had three kids but after the last daughter was born he just didn’t want to be with her anymore.  He didn’t feel anything for her, and why live with someone that you don’t love?

However, when my uncle came to America in 2013, he began working in the fields where he made gay friends.  Here, he never imagined that he would find the love of his life.  At the beginning my grandparents and family members accepted who he was because he already had three kids, but l still remember clearly during my twenty first birthday how troubled he was.  He couldn’t hide his sadness anymore.  During the dinner my mom had made for me, he told everyone that he was gay. No one in the family expected that from him.  We didn’t believe that he was not attracted to women; after all,  he had a lived a married life for twelve years. No one in the family knew that he was forced to get married until the day of my dinner.   The only ones that knew were my grandparents and me.

Now that he is married, every time I go to his house to visit he is not the same person anymore.  His life is full of happiness.   I can see it in his eyes.   Seeing him happy makes me happy to know that he has found the right person someone that he has feelings for.  When gay marriage became legal in California, my uncle decided to get married. I found out last week my uncle and his partner are thinking in adopting. Uncle Sam’s partner always wanted a child, but  he was sterile.  Now, both he and my uncle have agreed to take the next step. Hopefully soon they receive approval by a foster home.  Even though my uncle has three daughters, he still wants to adopt a child to make his partner happy.

I know friends and family members who are discriminated for who they are. Gay marriage is an important topic in America. There is a major problem with gay couples who are being denied to  marry a same-sex partner. The main opponents of same sex marriage are Catholics and Jehovah witness because their bible says that marriage should be between man and woman.  Many religions believe gay marriage is wrong because it involves sex that doesn’t create life.  Religious groups often argue that same-sex parents could be damaging to the children.  In the past two decades, democrats have been the political group to argue gay marriages should be legal in America.  On the other side of the aisle,  less than half of republicans now support same sex marriage.  This is still much better than in 1996 where only sixteen percent of Republics supported it.  Equality should be for everyone with no restrictions. Same-sex couples should have the freedom and rights to do what they want and get marry with whoever they choose-everyone has the rights to be happy.         

During my four years in high school I had a friend who had a hard time being accepted by his parents because of his sexuality.  Even though he has been discriminated by his own family, I admire him because he is a strong person. I have been there for him since Day One.  It hasn’t been easy because all the negative comments from people who don’t accept gay people. He was also bullied during his high school years it was at the time where he didn’t want to talk to anyone in the class. To me writing about him makes me feel proud knowing that I was able to help a friend who no one liked because of the gender.  I don’t want anyone who is gay, bisexual or transgender to be discriminated because nowadays people don’t have any respect or sometimes they think is okay to insult anyone just because of their sexual preference.

My Uncle Sam  is one of many people that have gone through humiliation, negativity in his life, powerless because of his sexual preference. He was forced to be with a woman who he wasn’t attracted to but at that time my uncle just did it because he wanted to hide and face the reality of who he is as a person. Later, in life he realized the mistake he had made of marrying someone who he wasn’t attracted to. At the time before getting married they were best friends and until this day they still friends even though things didn’t work out because of his sexual orientation.  Sam told me,  “I got marry to someone I didn’t love because of my parents I didn’t want them to know that I wasn’t attracted to women”. He also said, “I didn’t want to hurt my parents. To them marriage, is important in the catholic religion” At one moment of the interview we both got emotional to know that our family is the most important and in his case no one talks to him but me, just because of the decision he made.

Legalizing gay marriage will stop discrimination.  Most of the gay marriages involves religion the 14 Amendment protects gay marriage, protecting children, religion. Some observers worry that legalizing same sex marriage parenting and opposite sex parenting are interchangeable when in fact they may lead to different outcomes for parenting. Children who have been studied are doing just as well as normal children from straight parents. One of the things people don’t understand about adoption if this is legalizing it would be more homes available for kids and orphans around the world. How might same sex marriage affect the well-being of American child? People think that gay parents don’t know how to raise a child but in reality, they do as good as straight parents? Even scientists agree that there is not negative impact to children of same-sex “love between same sex”. What is saying is that anyone can love no matter the skin tone, race, feelings, or age. Anyone can love who they want. No one should have restrictions or rules of which gender to love.

Work Cited

Chauveron, Lisa "The Co-Evolution of Marriage and Parental Rights of Gays and Lesbians”. Journal of GLBT Family Studies, Mar-Apr2017.

Kara, Samuel. “Longitudinal Effects of Religious Media on Opposition to Same-Sex    Marriage”. Sexuality & Culture, Dec. 2016

Walker, Christopher. "Religion and Attitudes toward Same-Sex Marriage among U.S.    Latinos”. Social Science, Mar. 2011

Newheiser, David. "Sexuality and Christian Tradition”. Journal of Religious Ethics, Mar. 2015